Husbands
love your wives,
and be not
bitter against them.
Colossians 3:19
The opening verse is short but most important for a problem exists in the world, and even in the Church whereby men, married men are action out of accordance with the will of God. Divorce rate among those calling themselves Christian is about the same as those who do not call themselves Christian: 50%. I am not suggesting that the divorce rate is all due to the fault of a husband for many divorces occur due to the wife. Yet, the man is to be the head of the home and has the responsibility to lead the family to a knowledge of God, Jesus Christ, and to allow the Holy Spirit to lead him in this effort. The Greek word:
πικραίνεσθε,is second person plural, present, imperative, passive: therefore this is a direct order to be carried out in the present by everyone, and it is to the husband who is to be the doing as passive gives that interpretation so that this cannot be construed as something other than what the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to write. This Greek word in this tense is to render someone bitter, or to grow bitter, to be angry, and here is an important use of this word: to become harsh. Paul wrote this to the Ephesians: "All bitterness, and indignation, and wrath, and clamour, and evil speaking bet be removed from you, with all malice; and be to one another kind, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, according as also God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:31-32).
Your wife is your help meet, not just your help mate: the English word, "meet," has two dictionary definitions, and this is important to know so as to understand what the Holy Spirit inspired to be written. Meet: suitable, fitting, and proper (Webster's Dictionary, 1997, pg.816). God made woman out of man's rib. Could He have just made another person out of the dust? Yes! But He did not, for He made woman out of man to be not something different, a whole new form, rather to be 100% human as was Adam. Now, when they came together and produced children those children would have a part from each sex, not from two different sort of beings. Man is from woman, and woman is from man, suitable, proper, and fitting.
So, why would a husband not treat his wife with the love of God, this principled love and not treat her harshly? He would not if he is to become in the image of Jesus Christ. Will there be issues or problems that must be addressed? Yes! But they address them together no matter how difficult it may be. Did not both the man and the woman give to each other their vows? Yes! "Vow, and pay unto the LORD your God; let all that be round about him bring presents unto him that ought to be feared" (Psalm 76:11). "When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hast no pleasure in fools: pay that which has vowed. Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, that that thus shouldest vow and not pay. Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin; neither say thou before the angel, that it was in error: wherefore should God be angry at they voice, and destroy the work of thine hands" (Ecclesiastes 5:4-6). God calls one who does not keep their vows: "fools" and some of us have been "fools" and no matter how things have worked out, we are still: "fools." How ofter have you heard, or maybe used this excuse for divorce: "it was in error"? Maybe it was, but you vowed, so you are commanded to love your wife, even if done in "error." You command is to "agape," Love, a principle love, to be giving to your wife. If you are frustrated over this problem one finds in marriage, maybe it is as frustration is to be understood: One's expectation is wrong, either to low, or to high. Examine your expectations!
Paul wrote to the Ephesians this same command and it is good to have two witnesses: "Wives, to your own (notice this: your own) husbands submit yourselves as to the Lord, (here is the crux: to the Lord you do what you do), for the husband is the head of the wife (Husbands as the head it is your responsibility to care for your wife, and family, this before caring for anything in the Church: i.e., teaching Sunday School, or being a deacon, or an elder, even to be a pastor, your responsibility given to you by God is not a suggestion; it is a command), as also the Christ is the had of the assembly, and he is Savior of the body. but even as the assembly is subjected to the Christ, so also wives to their own husbands in everything (not some things, everything, so husband your responsibility is serious for are to lead and aid your help meet) Husbands, love your own wives (not some other wife, or woman, you own wife) even as also the Christ loved the assembly, and himself gave up for it, that He might sanctify, having cleansed it by the washing of water by the word that He might present it to himself glorious the assembly, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any of such things, but it might be holy and blameless. So ought husbands to love their own wife as himself" (Ephesians 5:22-28).
Do you want to be blameless before God? Do you want purity in your life and in your Church? Will you take your responsibility given to you by God? I will end this most important subject that is so often lightly taught and the results can be seen from the many divorces among those who call themselves Christian: When my mom was dying and no longer to be cared for by her husband, my dad, age had made this impossible along with the need for mom who was not to survive long and needed special care, we, dad and I, went to the Social Security office to settle matters there and on the way we would usually talk, but not this time. So, I asked dad a question: how could he and mom be together for so long, some 60 years? Dad turned to me and said one word: "Committment!" That was it, then turned back to look out the windshield and said no more on this matter. He did not say: I love her, we all knew he did, no, it was: Commitment. From that moment on my life changed for that was a problem of mine and maybe of yours and that was: Commitment.
Husbands: love your wife and hold to your vows, and your commitment to them.
Happy is the man that feareth alway:
but he that hardenteth his heart
shall fall into mischief.
Proverbs 28:14
Blessings await a faithful husband
Richard L. Crumb
πικραίνεσθε,is second person plural, present, imperative, passive: therefore this is a direct order to be carried out in the present by everyone, and it is to the husband who is to be the doing as passive gives that interpretation so that this cannot be construed as something other than what the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to write. This Greek word in this tense is to render someone bitter, or to grow bitter, to be angry, and here is an important use of this word: to become harsh. Paul wrote this to the Ephesians: "All bitterness, and indignation, and wrath, and clamour, and evil speaking bet be removed from you, with all malice; and be to one another kind, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, according as also God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:31-32).
Your wife is your help meet, not just your help mate: the English word, "meet," has two dictionary definitions, and this is important to know so as to understand what the Holy Spirit inspired to be written. Meet: suitable, fitting, and proper (Webster's Dictionary, 1997, pg.816). God made woman out of man's rib. Could He have just made another person out of the dust? Yes! But He did not, for He made woman out of man to be not something different, a whole new form, rather to be 100% human as was Adam. Now, when they came together and produced children those children would have a part from each sex, not from two different sort of beings. Man is from woman, and woman is from man, suitable, proper, and fitting.
So, why would a husband not treat his wife with the love of God, this principled love and not treat her harshly? He would not if he is to become in the image of Jesus Christ. Will there be issues or problems that must be addressed? Yes! But they address them together no matter how difficult it may be. Did not both the man and the woman give to each other their vows? Yes! "Vow, and pay unto the LORD your God; let all that be round about him bring presents unto him that ought to be feared" (Psalm 76:11). "When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hast no pleasure in fools: pay that which has vowed. Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, that that thus shouldest vow and not pay. Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin; neither say thou before the angel, that it was in error: wherefore should God be angry at they voice, and destroy the work of thine hands" (Ecclesiastes 5:4-6). God calls one who does not keep their vows: "fools" and some of us have been "fools" and no matter how things have worked out, we are still: "fools." How ofter have you heard, or maybe used this excuse for divorce: "it was in error"? Maybe it was, but you vowed, so you are commanded to love your wife, even if done in "error." You command is to "agape," Love, a principle love, to be giving to your wife. If you are frustrated over this problem one finds in marriage, maybe it is as frustration is to be understood: One's expectation is wrong, either to low, or to high. Examine your expectations!
Paul wrote to the Ephesians this same command and it is good to have two witnesses: "Wives, to your own (notice this: your own) husbands submit yourselves as to the Lord, (here is the crux: to the Lord you do what you do), for the husband is the head of the wife (Husbands as the head it is your responsibility to care for your wife, and family, this before caring for anything in the Church: i.e., teaching Sunday School, or being a deacon, or an elder, even to be a pastor, your responsibility given to you by God is not a suggestion; it is a command), as also the Christ is the had of the assembly, and he is Savior of the body. but even as the assembly is subjected to the Christ, so also wives to their own husbands in everything (not some things, everything, so husband your responsibility is serious for are to lead and aid your help meet) Husbands, love your own wives (not some other wife, or woman, you own wife) even as also the Christ loved the assembly, and himself gave up for it, that He might sanctify, having cleansed it by the washing of water by the word that He might present it to himself glorious the assembly, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any of such things, but it might be holy and blameless. So ought husbands to love their own wife as himself" (Ephesians 5:22-28).
Do you want to be blameless before God? Do you want purity in your life and in your Church? Will you take your responsibility given to you by God? I will end this most important subject that is so often lightly taught and the results can be seen from the many divorces among those who call themselves Christian: When my mom was dying and no longer to be cared for by her husband, my dad, age had made this impossible along with the need for mom who was not to survive long and needed special care, we, dad and I, went to the Social Security office to settle matters there and on the way we would usually talk, but not this time. So, I asked dad a question: how could he and mom be together for so long, some 60 years? Dad turned to me and said one word: "Committment!" That was it, then turned back to look out the windshield and said no more on this matter. He did not say: I love her, we all knew he did, no, it was: Commitment. From that moment on my life changed for that was a problem of mine and maybe of yours and that was: Commitment.
Husbands: love your wife and hold to your vows, and your commitment to them.
Happy is the man that feareth alway:
but he that hardenteth his heart
shall fall into mischief.
Proverbs 28:14
Blessings await a faithful husband
Richard L. Crumb
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