Friday, January 16, 2015

The Responsibility Of Children And Fathers


Children, obey your parents and the Lord,
       for this is right.         
                    "Honor your father and mother,"       
which is the first commandment with a promise:
"that it may be well with you and you may live
Long on the earth."
 (Deuteronomy 5:16)
And you, fathers, do not provoke
your children to wrath,
but to bring them up in the training
an admonition of the Lord.
Ephesians 6: 1 -- 4

            It was first discussed the role of a wife, and of the role of the father, and now we speak of the role of a child.  All three are conjoined into one for the benefit of another and when one of those joints that are bound together or disjointed then the family, and the individual will not be benefited.  Paul here in this part of his letter is giving directions in regards to the duties of each person in the family, and in this case the duties of a child.  The greatest duty for a child is to obey his or her parent(s).  Furthermore, the parent has a responsibility to guide a child in such a way as not to bring them to wrath.  The 1559 Stephanus Bible as it's a literal translation states: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is just.  Honor thy father and mother which is the first commandment with a  promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest long-lived on the earth.  And, fathers, do not provoke your children, but bring up them in [the] discipline and admonition of the Lord."  This seem redundant to quote both, but this is important if we are to fully understand the role of a mother and father, especially the father and the raising up of a child.  Let's examine this closely. Fathers, you must not shirk your duty and responsibility to both your wife and your children.  If you expect your child to be obedient to you, you first must be obedient to God, and then show your obedience to your wife.  If you expect your child and your wife to love you, you must first love them.  Obedience is the inward reference manifested in an outward expression.  If you expect your child to obey you, then you're outward act must be that you are obeying God.  Children must understand that their obedience to their parents is "just," that, this is justice, not just fairness, for it is justice. What does justice actually mean?  It is a quality of righteousness and of moral rightness, furthermore, is conformity to this principle, this moral principle that determines their conduct.  But how can a child come to understand justice?  Children look up to their parents and if they cannot look up to their parents then they will look up to another person who they believe is guiding them properly.  You may not know who that other person is and what they are saying to your child in their guidance.  Therefore, you must take the role of a father and raise up your children in the admonition of the Lord.
            Paul writes that a father is not to provoke their child, the Greeks understood this word to mean to be in rage, angry, to provoke someone so severely that they become wrathful.  How can this occur?  There are many ways in which this can incur into a person to bring them to this state of anger and this anger may not always be manifested outwardly but be held inwardly changing that person into something that in time may allow for an outburst harming themselves or others.  One way that I can think of that a father could anger their child is to not spend time with their child.  Another way for a father to anger their child is to spend time, even though they are at home, watching TV, or doing other things and leaving the child to themselves.  Another way is to be so liberal with your child that you allow them to go to any place a desire to go and you are not concerned with whom they go with and wonder why they might get in trouble.  Another way is to give children money that they have not earned and this teaches them that they don't really have to work to earn a living.  How then can a father avoid the various pitfalls and raising up a child?  I sing a song that has the title: "Family Bible" and it speaks of a father reading the Bible to their children after eating dinner.  It is this time where the father is reading the Bible to his family that brings in later life such wonderful and great memories.  Also when this song it speaks of the mother singing: "rock of ages is cleft for me."  Fathers you have been given the authority to be the leader of your family but you must not abuse that power for your children are a part of you and they are to be governed in tenderness and love.  This does not mean that you will not inspect what to expect, for a reasonable and good father would do so to protect their child.  Now if a child is in some sort of wrong doing you must read through that child but to do so in such a way as not to provoke that child to wrath.  This does not mean you will not use some sort of corporal punishment, but if this is a used then it must be used with great caution and prudently.  Teaching your child that there is a difference between that which is right in that which is wrong and that there are consequences for either will go a long way in that child's life and you are the one to make it happen.  Now children you must obey your parents: PERIOD!  Child this is your responsibility even though at times you may not like or understand, you still must be obedient.
            Fathers teach your children a religious education and instruct them to fear sinning.  Instruct them their whole duty towards the world and to resist the temptations of late.  Too often parents have an anxiety for their children so that they would become rich and accomplished and unfortunately do not care as much of what ever becomes of their souls and if this is not the case then they should not expect the blessings of God upon their children.  Is this important?  Only you can answer that question.

Harsh discipline is for him
            who forsakes of the way,
and he who hates correction
            will die.
                        Proverbs 15: 10

Parents teach and love your children

Richard L. Crumb

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